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Leaving me alone at night is a dangerous thing for my mind. Not danger as in I might injure someone, or myself, but more that the hamster wheel in my head spins and spins. I had gotten a compliment from a stranger on my photos, and it prompted me to take a look back through my stream. I just don't see it. Some days I think I am getting better, and others I feel it is worse. Either way, I look at other feeds and I am amazed by others and their skill. Seriously, sometimes I am just in awe and wonder "How did they do that?????". When I first started to learn PS, someone showed me some basics, and the rest was left up to me. My photoshop experience can best be described as a series of pushing random buttons, and then trying to remember what I did.
I got into blogging for something to do in Second Life. My brain is one that stays busy most of the time. It is hard for me to just stay stationary for an hour. There is a need in my head to constantly be accomplishing something. Maybe the creators I blog for like this about me. I take blogging seriously enough to do my best, meet my deadlines, and represent their product hopefully in a way that makes someone want to buy it. I don't complain, and I follow the rules. So...many...rules. In going through my feed, I realized I lost something. I lost that sense of adventure in just pushing buttons, and started to focus on trying to make "pretty pictures". My brain is not pretty. Lucky for me, a few people in my life appreciate the chaos in my head. For my own sanity I have got to get back to that expression of chaos visually. Maybe I will find a balance between pretty and surreal.
There are a thousand bloggers out there. There are thousands of creators out there. I am one person that gets the privilege to serve up a scene for some of my favorite creators. If I stop blogging tomorrow, it will not make a difference, or impact, the marketplace. What a humbling thought.
Hair: Stealthic - Rebellion
Pose: RK Poses - Seth 3