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"the state of being unaware or unconscious of what is happening." Webster's
I don't like the idea of existing in an oblivious state, but sometimes my actions can get me there. It is pushed forward by chemicals. I say I don't like it, because in my core I want to experience all the beautiful things life has to offer. We all know we have to accept the bad with the good, but damn I want to be selfish. We also hear that the negative, or difficult life experiences help shape us...make us stronger, right. I want to rage against that machine, because if we only experienced the good life offers, what need do we have for strength? It is an impossible idea.
Here is the funny/odd thing. When life is stressful with just failure after failure. Or, I am exchanging negative emotions with someone else. Or, fighting with a loved one. Those are not the times I seek that chemical oblivion. It happens when life is too good. Everything is going well. Opportunities are knocking on my door. I'm happy. That will sink me into some deep abyss faster than anything. It is a fucked up testament to my mental state, but I just don't trust happiness. I think it tries to lull me into being off guard to then just shut it all down.
Glasses: MULLOY Naju Glasses @ FaMESHeD
Backdrop: MULLOY - Geeko Backdrop
Furniture: CASA Giubiu Set