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Room For Me

When confronted with social situations, do you ever hesitate the slightest before stepping in? Does insecurity step in telling you there is no room for you among this crowd? It happens to me all the time. Can I? Should I? What if? I really admire the people I know that have not a care in the world in regards to how others perceive them.

When I was a kid, my family was lower middle class due to my father's health issues. My parents could not afford to buy me the IZOD shirts, Jordache Jeans, or Nike shoes. It is completely shallow, and trivial when I think back on it. However, these were the items of importance socially during the pre-teen years. No brand? No friends. At best you were outcasted to some odd social circle of headbangers. What made it even worse was that my mother made my clothes much of the time. I got bullied over my economic status, and I think a little part of that has stuck with me over the years.

Good thing that people forget. Good thing that I was creative in how I would find an "in". I have an old coach to thank for getting me started. In the 8th grade, she took me out to the track and put a discus and shot put in my hand. Suddenly I was upgraded from nerd gym to Athletics. I could throw. I started mowing lawns to get some money. I earned enough to buy two pairs of designer jeans, a pair of Nike, and an Izod shirt. Next, I went to a flea market and purchased five generic polo style shirts. Every night before a school day, I sat in my room removing that alligator from one shirt to sew it onto one of the generic shirts. It made all the difference. I was the same person, but now the kids accepted me, because I was wearing the right brands. My social life changed.

Was it worth it? I think so. It opened doors for me later in life. The effort alone taught me much about work ethic and an appreciation for what I work towards. Insecurity still resides in a corner of my mind, but I found room for me within myself. I'm happy. :)


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