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Those that know me know that this is a hard month for me personally. It is not getting easier. The 27th of April will mark two years that my brother passed away. My memories with him are like a lingering ghost. People say focus on the good memories. I am not sure if those people have experienced profound loss. If I think about the good memories, it just causes me to miss him more. If I focus on his last week, it makes me angry over the circumstances, and unbearably sad. It has not gotten better. Time has not healed a fucking thing. It is quite possibly not an exaggeration in saying that I have broken down at least once a day over the past two years. Most often it happens in the car on the way to work.
So, today I am thinking about a good memory. We grew up on a lake, It was practically in our backyard. We had a boat like most families on the lake, and we used it often and all year. It was this 35 foot houseboat. We had family parties on it. We fished with my father. We went skiing, and water tubing. My brother and I grew up to have a great love of the water. A day on the lake cured everything.
When my brother came home to die, one of the first things we did together was got out on a boat. He was still able to mostly walk. I put a life jacket on him, and got him into the back part of a ski boat. I drove him around the lake on that boat for almost 5 hours, and there was peace on his face. He was happy. I was happy. I took a picture of him sitting there to capture that moment. It was the last time he was able to go for a boat ride. He would be gone 6 months later.
The positives here are that I did get that moment. Also, I have friends that know how to lift me up. It goes for both the real world, and my virtual world. I am a very lucky soul to be surrounded by solid people. It is also a beautiful thing about having a second life. I never have to be alone. Today, just a boat reminded me.
Hair: - S E V E N - Jack Hair
Ears: ^^Swallow^^ Punky Ears
Sim Location: Jack's at NorderNey